Apolo Wins the Mirror Ball!

And I can’t say that I’m disappointed. Except maybe that people could make an award so tacky and god awful. Leila and Max ended up in 3rd. And if Maksim needs a shoulder to cry on, or a leg to feel up, he can call me. Or if he needs a naked rubdown or naked cha cha….you know, whatever will make him feel better.

Actually, Maksim Chmerkovsky (sounds like Bazensky) and Leila Ali came into our work 2 weeks ago to do a meet & greet for People Magazine. Where I coyly asked if he could teach me dance lessons (in my bedroom). He said he lived in NY (tear) and could refer me to someone. That totally ruins my whole him-lusting-after-me thing and dancing/falling in love with me Dirty Dancing/Girls Just Wanna Have Fun/Save the Last Dance/Dirty Dancing Havanna Nights (yeah, i said it!)/Step-Up style. (Side note: Step Up was absolutely horRENdous!! And I have EXTREME-ly low standards for my romantic dance movies!)


As delicious and hot as he is, Maksim’s not the sharpest tool in the shed, and he’s kinda arrogant and douche-y. Or a LOT arrogant, and overbearingly douche-y. Hello bright orange t-shirt, suit jacket, and matching bright orange sunglasses! Made my eyes bleed.

But no fret, Max (Maks?). Just keep moving those hips and being drool-worthy, and ignorance will be bliss once again. Congrats Apolo, job well done. I wanted him to win, and he deserved it! Now bring on So You Think You Can Dance, my most favorite dance reality show EVER!

R.I.P. Dance Life. Double sigh.

p.s. I did not mind at ALL when Maksim groped me all over for this photo op. I am mildly pathetic.