Bazensk in Retrograde

Mercury in Retrograde. You can say that again.

Mercury in retrograde is kinda like Earth having PMS. Everything’s off, crazy, and really needs chocolate . Ok, went to far with that analogy.

Everyone at work today has been uttering the phrase “Mercury in Retrograde!!” as an excuse for people’s erratic behavior, nasty confrontations, crazy goings-on, and frustrating blackberry and e-mail outages. Not ever being to into astrology, I asked myself “Is this is the reason I’m so off today (please see paragraph 9)”, and decided to read up on it.


The traditional astrological meaning assigned to Mercury going "retrograde" in the sky is that one should prepare for and gird themselves for unexpected delays, frustrations, and surprises in everyday life. This includes everyday routines in commerce, commuting back and forth to work, and in one's communications.

Unexpected delays? Traffic was unusually sucky today – check!
Frustrations? my boss, work today, my boss at work today – check!
Surprises? my ex is coming to town and my raise kicked in today – check!

During the (very) approximate 24 day periods when Mercury turns "retrograde" in the sky, in the area of commerce, astrologers generally recommend delaying of the signing contracts and other important life decisions. It is a period of time thought to be better spent in reflection and in the rethinking of things.

Re-thinking of things. I would like to rethink my major in college (art would have been fun - business schmusiness) and buying that Jetta with such a high monthly payment years ago. I might also want to rethink my career. Advertising? Pssh! Give me independently wealthy world traveler! I need to rethink my tivo season pass. The Office should take precedence to LOST (yeah I said it). I’d like to rethink the girl scout cookies I just scarfed and the highlights I thought were cool senior year. I would also like to rethink my philosophy on parking tickets.

This is an excellent time to work on old projects that never got to be finished. So, think about the things you started and never finalized.

I have 12 tivo-ed shows, 4 books, 3 unedited iMovies, 2 scrapbooks, and one game of Trivial Pursuit I never finished. Dan, it’s on! you’re going down!

Mercury is literally turning backwards. Backwards. That pretty much sums up my day. I've gone off at everyone that has so much as breathed on me wrong, and I kinda just sent a random crazy e-mail to an ex-friend/crazy lying alcoholic whore. So instead of having one more crazy outburst today, I will take the newspaper’s advice and use this time for introspection, meditation, contemplation and everything else philosophical that ends in “tion”. And finish old projects. Europe scrapbook over bitching out the next person that looks at me funny? Done and done!

A client just called asking why she didn’t get any of my e-mails. To which I said coily, “Mercury in Retrograde!” I’m gonna love using this as my excuse for the next 13 days.