If you're ever feeling down...

Just take a look at this …it’s gold.



I can’t decide what my favorite thing about this picture is:


My manic, crazy, possessed face and hilarious teeth
Michelle’s tuck and roll pants, waiting for a flood
My socks match my hideous sweater
Michelle’s denim scrunchy
Lindsay actually thinks she looks cool.
Michelle only being a year older than me and being insanely gigantic next to us
Lindsay’s freakishly big feet
All of the aunts are in the background ogling and taking pictures for days
Lindsay is totally posing
My socks are two sizes too big for my foot
My family actually thinks this is adorable and that matching fur coats is a good idea

Michelle will randomly e-mail me this pic ever so often and I will literally have a hysterical laugh attack for the following hour. I laugh until I’m crying. Then Michelle will call me at work and we won’t even say a word. We’ll both just sit on the phone with each other, not able to talk, hysterically laughing and crying…pissing off all passers by, I’m sure.

So let me share my Prozac with you. It never disappoints.

p.s. God bless braces. for fuck’s sake.

p.p.s. here is Christmas 17 years later. sans hip rabbit fur.

Finish reading this story...

the pervs that are my readers

i would just like to share with you what people are going to my blog to read about. these are the things that people searched on the web to end up on my page. thank you Google Analytics.

and i'm not kidding. this is absolutely 100% true. real searches that you the people have typed in to get here. enjoy.

top 25 google searches of visitors to my blog:

1. Lachey & Manillo & sex video - (interesting)
2. Justin Timberlake omelette ville - (less interesting)
3. "Had to pee in her" - (now we're talking)
4. "give grandpa a blowjob" – (ok, people are sick f*cks. I don't know what's worse about this. the fact that people search this, or that it brings you to my blog.)
5. Jeans seizure coto de caza – (ummmm, wtf?)
6. "will forte" gay - (i've made out with him, and no he's not. and yes, it was amazing.)
7. 90's heartthrobs – (clearly those searchers were disappointed to find that I was actually writing about 90's douchebags: Steve Sanders and AC Slater)
8. love scenes of Sharon Stone – (and that directed them to my page how?)
9. Did Mario lopez use a perm on saved by the bell? - (yes. and duh.)
10. Nick Lachey Vanessa Manillo sex - (them again?)
11. bazensk - (hey, wadda ya know? i made it on the list!)
12. hives and marriage - (my point exactly)
13. gerri curl mullets – (see also Steve Sanders and AC Slater)
14. Daniel Lost Lauren Bazensky - (awwww, Steve: thelostdiary.com)
15. can't dance, too fat to fly – (I don't really know what to say about this. but it sounds like it sucks)
16. Anton Yelchin shirtless – (he's a kid for crying out loud. people are gross!)
17. Ian Ziering shirtless pics naked pics - (i just threw up in my mouth a little)
    
18. Seacrest midget - (ahhh, yes. the worst kind of midget.)
19. kameron bink shirtless - (i'm seeing a trend here)
20. naked rubdown - (oh yeahhh. here's my paypal account: bazensk@letsgitbizzy.com)
21. "i shamefully crapped my pants" - (my, that's unfortunate)
22. fat guy grabbed my boobs - (*crickets*)
23. Justin timberlake junk in a box - (Emmy winner, hollerrrrr!)
24. kameron bink naked pics - (when you find them, let me know)
25. Vanessa Manillo and Nick Lachey nude pictures - (ok, we get it already)

so clearly my readers are weirdos and pervs.

come one, come all.

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